The Worst Date Ever!!!
I’m sitting here bored as can be and started flipping through some of my old journals. I came upon an entry that really made me laugh out loud. It was from a date that I had gone on back in 2000. Now everyone has had a bad date, but this was the date from hell!!!! I mean… Every possible thing that you can imagine going wrong, went wrong. I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life.
Aiight here’s the deal, don’t laugh… I met this chic on BP (BlackPlanet for net newbies) right and we had been ‘messin’ around’ for a few weeks. We had never gone out anywhere… only stayed inside ya know? One night she asked me if I wanted to go out to the movies and I reluctantly said yes. So the next evening, I picked her up from choir rehearsal and was surprised to see that she had dyed her hair a very bright burgundy. I was determined to NOT take her anywhere lookin’ like that, yet I still wanted to chill later that night. I insisted that we get somethin’ to eat. I was trying to go to a restaurant that wasn’t around my way in case someone I knew happened to be there.
Well we ended up going to Applebee’s (which I hated then and still dislike).From the moment we hit the door ole’ girl started with the drama. First off she fussed at the hostess because it took too long for us to be seated. She complained aloud about being hungry and starving every 2 minutes. When we finally got seated she got rude with the waiter for some reason unknown to me. Whenever she wanted something, she would tap on her glass with a spoon until the waiter came. Of course I’m gettin’ to the point where I’m ready to get up and roll out at this point, but we stayed. The food came and within 7 minutes she had wolfed down the entire meal. No joke, I was still eating my bread and halfway through my vegetables when ole’ girl slammed her utensils down and exclaimed “That was good as sh*t!” So I’m sittin’ there still taking my time eating my dinner, while she has this look of exhaustion on her face. Within about 10 minutes she begins to complain that her stomach is hurting. She talks loudly about the fact that she felt sick from the food and felt the need to throw-up. When the waiter comes over to check on us, she loudly says “Ugh.. the food was nasty… I feel like I gotta throw-up”. I’m sitting there feeling small enough to jump in a glass of water at this point.
People are lookin’ from all over the restaurant to see where the commotion is coming from. Ole’ girl asks me if she can have the keys to my car so she can lay down and I was like “Hell No… I aint givin’ you my keys!!!” Then she got angry and started cussin’ out loud about how I wasn’t being a gentleman to a woman who was feeling ill. I did my best to ignore her for the next 5-7 minutes until the waiter came with the check. I paid the bill and acted as if I was getting up to leave. She assumed I was walking out the door and decided to walk to the car and wait for me. I then put my head down on the table in shame and got up after about 2 minutes. People looked as if they wanted to say “Damn bruh… sorry about your problem” or “You’re an idiot”.
Well… I finally went to the car and we left the parking lot on the way to her house. I didn’t say a word the whole entire way. I just drove in silence. I wanted to go off on her, but I blamed myself for dealing with such an ignorant chic. I pulled up in her driveway and she asked me if I was gonna come inside. Being that I was still pissed, I declined the invitation and let her off by the front entrance to her apartment building and from that point I drove my Black azz home.
I can look back at that night and laugh about it now, but it sure as hell wasn't funny back then... lol.
Aiight here’s the deal, don’t laugh… I met this chic on BP (BlackPlanet for net newbies) right and we had been ‘messin’ around’ for a few weeks. We had never gone out anywhere… only stayed inside ya know? One night she asked me if I wanted to go out to the movies and I reluctantly said yes. So the next evening, I picked her up from choir rehearsal and was surprised to see that she had dyed her hair a very bright burgundy. I was determined to NOT take her anywhere lookin’ like that, yet I still wanted to chill later that night. I insisted that we get somethin’ to eat. I was trying to go to a restaurant that wasn’t around my way in case someone I knew happened to be there.
Well we ended up going to Applebee’s (which I hated then and still dislike).From the moment we hit the door ole’ girl started with the drama. First off she fussed at the hostess because it took too long for us to be seated. She complained aloud about being hungry and starving every 2 minutes. When we finally got seated she got rude with the waiter for some reason unknown to me. Whenever she wanted something, she would tap on her glass with a spoon until the waiter came. Of course I’m gettin’ to the point where I’m ready to get up and roll out at this point, but we stayed. The food came and within 7 minutes she had wolfed down the entire meal. No joke, I was still eating my bread and halfway through my vegetables when ole’ girl slammed her utensils down and exclaimed “That was good as sh*t!” So I’m sittin’ there still taking my time eating my dinner, while she has this look of exhaustion on her face. Within about 10 minutes she begins to complain that her stomach is hurting. She talks loudly about the fact that she felt sick from the food and felt the need to throw-up. When the waiter comes over to check on us, she loudly says “Ugh.. the food was nasty… I feel like I gotta throw-up”. I’m sitting there feeling small enough to jump in a glass of water at this point.
People are lookin’ from all over the restaurant to see where the commotion is coming from. Ole’ girl asks me if she can have the keys to my car so she can lay down and I was like “Hell No… I aint givin’ you my keys!!!” Then she got angry and started cussin’ out loud about how I wasn’t being a gentleman to a woman who was feeling ill. I did my best to ignore her for the next 5-7 minutes until the waiter came with the check. I paid the bill and acted as if I was getting up to leave. She assumed I was walking out the door and decided to walk to the car and wait for me. I then put my head down on the table in shame and got up after about 2 minutes. People looked as if they wanted to say “Damn bruh… sorry about your problem” or “You’re an idiot”.
Well… I finally went to the car and we left the parking lot on the way to her house. I didn’t say a word the whole entire way. I just drove in silence. I wanted to go off on her, but I blamed myself for dealing with such an ignorant chic. I pulled up in her driveway and she asked me if I was gonna come inside. Being that I was still pissed, I declined the invitation and let her off by the front entrance to her apartment building and from that point I drove my Black azz home.
I can look back at that night and laugh about it now, but it sure as hell wasn't funny back then... lol.
posted by G. Mo at 2/07/2006 11:55:00 AM
1 Comments:
Tell me why I had to look at the screen sideways on this part:
"within 7 minutes she had wolfed down the entire meal. No joke, I was still eating my bread and halfway through my vegetables when ole’ girl slammed her utensils down and exclaimed “That was good as sh*t!” "
and fell out laughing on this part:
"I then put my head down on the table in shame and got up after about 2 minutes. People looked as if they wanted to say “Damn bruh… sorry about your problem” or “You’re an idiot”."
baaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaa that was hilarious
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